Six Nations has finally arrived and is set to grace us with screaming Scots and wailing Welsh, frantic French and energetic English, intense Italians and irate Irish and a lot of people cheering their socks off.
For the uninitiated or the claustrophobic, a breath of fresh air will be one proven to be taken for granted, and the hectic atmosphere will make the most chillaxed person freak out just a little bit.
Regardless, for the new and the practiced, here are a couple of tips on how to survive a day of the Six Nations:
1. Fully charge all mobile gadgets- priorities, people.
This goes without saying, but imagine the utter horror of having your cell turn off in the middle of the festivities.
2. Know (at LEAST the basic) rules of rugby
Unless you want to be viewed as a pariah by the masses, do your research and avoid being burned at the stake. If you are unsure about anything, nod and smile as passionately as your expression is capable of doing.
3. Prepare a morning after platter.. Six of them. You know, just to be patriotic.
For good measure, pepper the platter with finely ground paracetamol or similar, and adjust amount to taste.
4. Throw conventions out the window.
People are going to show up wearing suits and clothes and costumes too bizarre for your imagination to begin processing. It is best to expect such and prepare mentally before the big day, however, just to be safe, wear a pear of sunglasses- even if you accidentally begin to stare, you’ll look cool doing it.
5. Memorize all the hymns.
We’ve all had that one time where we did our best to lip-sync lyrics not even remotely close to what was actually being sung. Rule of thumb is to repeat the word “watermelon” in varying degrees of intonation in case you really can’t get the lyrics right, though being able to sing along with a huge crowd is always an amazing experience.
6. Fix the biggest breakfast you can manage without causing negative bodily functions.
You will be on your feet way longer than you have ever cared to be and you will be using up stores of energy that energy drinks will not be able to accommodate without causing a trip to the hospital. Make sure that you are up to the task of plowing through a Six Nations day, and see to it that you don’t spend the entire event like a zombie.
7. Know who your friends are and where to find them.
Everyone knows that the location and everything surrounding it will be completely jam packed with anything from face-painted humans to talking dragons. And so, if you are meeting with someone at the venue, be sure that you agree on an exact meeting place and an exact meeting time. The guy that started Where’s Wally attended the Six Nations with a buddy. Just saying!
With all that in mind, pack up all your essentials, choose a victi-friend to handcuff to your person and place your bets on William Hill. Get ready for a play and a half.